“Relationships” has always been tough for me. During childhood days when I couldn’t maintain a good relationships, I would just ignore it and force myself to get rid of that “rejected” feeling. Gradually that became a habit and with time that “ignoring” turned into “Don’t care” when I went into college. So, I never really took time out to figure why maintaining relationships have been so tough for me? And till date it is very tough to have a stable relationships with either friends, family or employees. I spoke to few other friends of mine and did a little bit reading online, just to understand why it is so hard for few people to maintain a good, healthy relationships with other people. And after doing a brief deepdive into the subject, I came up with these reasons? I am sure the list is much longer than this but this is the best I could come up with.
1) For many people, relationships are in the form of curve. It starts off warm and nice, goes to a peak and then starts deteoriating. And soon comes to an end. One of the key reasons I feel is high expectations from other people. Generally as a human being, every individual has some sort of expectations from others. But if it more than that then it becomes confining for others. And he/she starts getting aloof.
2) High Self esteem : Some people have way more self esteem than is required. They love themselves so much that they feel that the entire world is available to them all the time just to cater to their needs. But of course that is not true and that leads to disappointment which shows.
3) Dominating : Unknowingly some people can be very dominating in nature. They would expect people to follow their thoughts, ideas and plans. And they have less understanding of other people’s comforts. So, that is a clash of expectations.
4) No Empathy : Some people have no empathy. So, even though they will kick off warm and cosy but because of lack of empathy, generally they lose respect from the other person. These are some of the values that parents can teach their child from the very start so that kids learn how to balance and maintain their relationships
5) Lack of acceptance : Still there is so much disparity in society even in civilised world that people find it hard to get accepted. So, with time the “feeling of rejection” changes a person altogether. People with such bad experiences in life often have issues in maintaining good relationships.
6) Opportunists/ Takers : Again, some people unknowingly may be seen as opportunists or some may be of that nature. Such people find it hard to maintain a relationships because after their job is done, they don’t care about that person. Most of these people have “don’t care” attitude. But later in life, they end up realising that not maintaining good relationships always cost them a bomb.