For past few days, I have been worried about a topic called parenting. I have a close friend who is doing fantastic in her career and her family life is great but her brother is indecisive about his life. He has passed out his degree about 5 years ago but still he doesn’t have clue of what he wants to do. He is afriad of taking challenges, afraid of working for people as he left many jobs because boss scolded him etc. That is kind of bothering her and also her parents. Their parents are well educated and retired from their jobs. When she discussed this topic with me, I started thinking, why kids from same parents have such different career path?
In many countries, male child is pampered a lot more than a female one. The male child would be facing less oppression than female child. But even after facing this inequality, girl childs are generally more strong than men. This raises a lot of questions on how we are bringing up our kids.
Recently I went to my daughter’s school to drop her in the morning before leaving for office. I was pleasantly surprised at a mother who was instructing a 5 year old to open her shoes, helping her to wear jacket, handing over her bag before she can get herself checked by the teacher and is allowed to go in. The tone of her voice was authoritative and on top of that, the instructions were very detailed, which I think leaves little space for any stimuli to kid’s brain. Kids in Singapore are so used to follow instructions that when they actually face a problem in day to day life, they look up to someone for an answer/instruction.
Then I started thinking about my daughter’s behavior and was bit concerned about my behaviour with her. Sometimes, unknowingly I could be more strict then I should be and let her to do things on her own. And probably one of the reasons why she keep asking me before doing anything. Because she is scared of taking risks, making mistakes and learning by herself.
One of the things, parents generally don’t realise it that the more easy they make things for their kids, the more difficult it will be for them when they grow up. If they learn to accept challenges at a young age then when they grow up, they will not forget this feeling. And by that time, taking on challenge will be their habit . It is very hard to understand as a parent. Because kids are the epicenter of their lives and people are ready to do anything to make their life easy and comfortable.
I am no expert in bringing up kids. And I am sure I may be making mistakes and people will have lots of suggestions for me on how I should bring up my kids. But the truth is that, that no one has cracked the formula of parenting. This topic is very sensitive and controversial but I think, one gets better by more reading, discussing and improving with time because no one is perfect. If we had the formula, the world would have been a much better place to live.