How about wasting some ‘TIME’!!

It was an interesting day today! I was talking to one of my colleagues about our busy lifestyle. We plan every minute so that we can make the most of the 24 hours. This topic hit me even more because I have been very busy for last few weeks. And I am not complaining because this is what I always wanted. I remember a couple of months ago when I decided to take a break from work life, it was the most difficult 2 months. I was supposed to sit down, relax and do introspection. And here I was sitting sad, depressed and lost all day long. It felt as if there was no life. At that point, I realized that the retirement that I have been planning for my 40th birthday is never going to happen. I don’t like not going to work.

Wasting Time is at times good

During our conversation, he mentioned something that struck me. He said he spends a couple of minutes or hours depending on his daily schedule, doing NOTHING. He sits down and relaxes. He doesn’t watch TV (he decided not to have one), no games, no reading …nothing at all. He just let his thoughts flow. He tries not to think or plan anything during that time. It is a more casual form of meditation. But even that sounded difficult.But like how we take care of our physical health by doing exercise, we also need to take care of our mental health.

First, we fill our minds with unimportant things and then start looking for Mindfulness courses to clear our minds. To be honest, it is not our fault. We are living in a day and age where there are ten additional things to do because of Facebook, Linkedin, WhatsApp, Instagram etc. During the day time, I just feel there is a lot going on in my mind. If I have to scribble my thoughts on a piece of paper, it would look crazy.

Last year, the visit to my village after 10 years had given me a perspective. Technology has touched village lives but not so much. So, one can still enjoy roaming around in fields, eating organic fruits and Veggies, sleeping under the star because there is no electricity. I will be honest, during day time, it was unbearable without electricity.

I missed internet for two days. I was using my mum’s phone to access the internet (that was on purpose) but then after 2 days, I stopped missing Social Media and friends there. People visit house un-alarmed. They spend hours talking about all kinds of topics. It’s like 24×7 live channel about all happenings around nearby villages. I felt so relaxed and happy. I decided to do that more often. I also learnt that staying away from the internet is best way to unwind. But as I landed back, I saw everyone was glued to their phones. No one was interested in talking or even paying attention to others. So I went back to my Facebook friends.

Coming back to the topic of wasting time. How many of you can think of wasting time by sitting and doing nothing? Think about it. It is not so easy as it sounds.

‘Time is the most important’. This is the lesson we are taught from the beginning. More important than money and here I am talking about wasting it. Yeah, that’s right! We have stopped enjoying the joy of doing NOTHING.

After our conversation, I realized that I was excited about trying this at home. Not going to take out time from daily life and do nothing. But whenever I have idle time, I am not going to book with outings, meeting with friends or any other activity. I am just going to relax and do NOTHING!



My Techie “Baby Mausi”

Aunty Acid

Technology has touched our lives in every possible ways. It has reached to a point that it is much easier to chat online than talk to a person. It’s like a group of friends deciding to meet in a café. When they meet, they are busy taking selfies, Welfies and posting them online. Tagging each other and discussing who commented on whose pictures, and what are the latest trends/news on the Social platforms. Think about it, can we really avoid Social Media related topics during a conversation with friends? It is now intertwined into our lives. Infact people are compelled to take actions in real life to feed their online life.

In such advance world, elders feel neglected and left out. We moved and settled in far off cities. And tend to visit home during big festivals. Not enough time to meet the extended family. While life is happening on one end, we don’t realise that elders are being cut off. Even if we call them occassionally but it take years to see them in flesh.

In this situation, I must say I am very proud of my eldest Maasi. I wasn’t in touch with her for over 10-15years. Occasionally we may talk but the conversation used to be brief. There was lot going on in our lives.

One fine day, we got connected over WhatsApp. We started chatting and hit it off as if those 10-15 years vanished in few seconds. Of course, there is a lot to catch up but this was a good starting point.

What amazed me even more was when she was trying her hand on Facebook! As a Facebook user, we may feel that it is no big deal. But this brought me to the year 2006 when I was trying to make a profile on Facebook for the first time. The platform was asking basic but never-ending questions. Many times I was confused on where to click, what to do? And here I am talking about 70year old lady who was never exposed to internet before. She not only learnt to deal with internet but she created her profile on networking sites. My amazement doesn’t end here,she also created a cool family group that has about 30 members. She is a shining star among technology retards. Now, in my mind, there is no excuse to learn the new and upcoming technology. The only explanation for not catching up on technology is not being aware of the surrounding or just being lazy.

She may have achieved a little in her own world. But this is a huge inspiration for all the youngsters out there. Learning is for life. That is how you are connected
and stay alive.

By the way, my mother is almost 12-15 years younger but she learnt and picked up Social Media long ago. I wasn’t that amazed because I was pushing her to learn. Learning Social Media and internet was not an option but necessity. It was a MUST so that she can interact with me regularly. You do have a higher expectation from your MOTHER!

If you have similar story like this, where technology has touched women’s lives and empowering them, please do share.

‘Sindri’ – My first love!

“Sindri” continues to amaze even after almost 15 years of destruction. The whole town was set up by Fertilizer Corporation Of India (FCI), a central government initiative. But then the unit was declared sick and in 2005, there was a complete shutdown. People lost their jobs. Some lost money, some their lives. Few men couldn’t recover from shock and pain. People were forced to move out because of the lack of Occupation/career choices. They dispersed and found shelter back in their own villages.

My parents stayed on. They had their own means of earning. They are among few who witnessed the gradual destruction of the place.

Last time when I had visited Sindri, it was 5 years ago. It was soon after my wedding and with my in-laws. I was visiting the town after almost 4 years. It was pretty shocking. Most of the government quarters were empty, thieves had taken away the doors and windows. The whole place was not even in the liveable state. My new family couldn’t believe that I lived and studied here once.

And this time, in 2017 when I went, the condition changed again. People from nearby locality had moved into these quarters. Every house is now filled with people. They haven’t repaired much due to the uncertainty that is mongering in town. But at least the quarters have now been used, they are getting water and electricity. It is not a ghost town anymore.

The sad thing is that this place has no source of income. Because of the factory shut down, people travel to Dhanbad in search of work. Locals are earning enough to feed themselves and buy some clothes. Paying school fees every month is a big headache for parents. But still, there is no dearth of private schools.Sindri Map

I didn’t see many youngsters around. Most of them have left for jobs in other cities/states. Some stayed on, to take care of their old parents. Taking care of old parents is another huge problem. There is no medical facility there. It is insane and unbelievable. No medical facility to deal with any sort of emergency. The nearest hospital/doctor that can deal with emergencies is 10kms away.

Sindri still has a saharpura market where you get the basic necessary stuff. The market is also surviving because there are some people in Sindri who have their sons and daughters living abroad. They are remitting money in dollars and pounds. Another very interesting aspect of Sindri. About 2-3% of the people get their funding from abroad. The parents have retired and want to continue to live in the peaceful town. I managed to meet such people. There was an uncle whose both sons were in Singapore. He knew someone whose daughter and son are in US and UK. And I was told that there are many such parents like that.

During my visit, there was another family that was visiting Sindri after 30 years. They left Sindri and settled in New Delhi. But post-retirement, they came to visit the town and donated money to a temple. People wondered on his love for this town. He may have stayed only 15-20 years in Sindri. There are many such families who may have left Sindri long time ago but still dream about it, ask about it and wish to return back.

Even though life has been difficult but this place has peace. People look after each other, there is no violence in the name of religion or caste, there is no theft and robbery or any other social evil.

This place continues to be a hub for good education. There used to be a time when there were many people who qualified for IIT (Indian Institute of Technology). There are many families where parents are working in big cities but they have left their kids with grannies to get a good and cheap education. There is an engineering college too – BIT Sindri because of which, fresh people(students) continues to come in. There is a huge alumini from BIT who continues to look back at Sindri.

I have no words to describe this place but I feel that people should visit this place to see and understand how people live with unity and peace. This could be a wonderful retirement HUB. What a beautiful town it is, even in this wretched condition! This place will continue to be home for many people even in this condition. And people are waiting for revival of this town once again!

In case you want to know more about this place, visit ; Discover world

Technology is kicking everybody’s ass!

The reason why I write these posts is because I like to share my learning on life, thoughts, and ideas about events that happen around me. The idea is to make the topics more relatable. Therefore, you will find my writing style is more like an open diary.

Today’s topic is about the news that I have been hearing around the perils of technology. The pace with which things are changing is scary. The only way to avoid this fear is to be aware of the changes.

Perils of technology
Recently I came across a video on Facebook that gave me a little nudge of what is coming in future. The video was of a design company that got rid of desktops and laptops. It is completely paperless. All the employees have VR glasses and they all were working in Virtual reality. It looked funny because from outside, it felt like they are touching air or something invisible. That video was supposed to be cool but to be honest I detested it. In those few seconds, I imagined myself in that work environment and a big “NO” screamed from somewhere within.

News of Robots coming in and taking over our jobs is as bad as a country going on a war. Why do I say this? You will know. There are arguments for both sides – a society with or without Robot. But no body can change the fact that this is going to reduce the number of jobs in the market. There ain’t any real jobs created in last decade and existing ones are disappearing. Due to the growth of shared economy, there is some job creation but they are not real jobs. People work part-time and stress out because of the nature of the work and income.

All this situation is going to impact the society immensely. Therefore, I compare the destruction to that of a war. In fact, the society is already changing. Recently, a survey showed that 80% of the people are unhappy with Uber/Grab cab services but only 4% stopped using them. That means we are pushing people towards unhappiness but they are still sticking around because of the convenience. The pursuit of convenience has crippled human minds.

With the growth of Social Media and mobile, human interaction has dropped significantly. In fact teens, these days, don’t know how and what to talk to people. Most of them are glued to small/large screens. Technology is impeding their mental and physical growth. So, we are bringing smarter robots to do mundane work but then, our kids are growing up with all these problems. Hollywood’s imagination of Robots taking over earth seems to become true.

We all speak about perils of technology but nothing gets done. Recently read a news about a technical glitch in a bank. That minor error in the software was about to bring down a big bank’s business in America. One of the employees mistakenly ran a job (shutting down the whole system) and in about 4 hours, customers started calling the bank that they can’t access their accounts and their cards were declined. It took few hours for the bank to figure out what exactly happened. And after the issue was fixed, it took another few hours to bring the business as usual. This is a great example of how things would be in future. The computer programs would be inter-dependent. Less human interaction means heavy reliance on technology. And any such errors can cost a lot.

Another one – In South Korea, one can control home appliances from outside. So, while you are traveling back home, just switch on the aircon, microwave the food, open the windows etc. But imagine for some reason, the app stops working or behave erratically, what can be done?

The underlying assumption of pushing technology to greater heights is that everything would be managed efficiently without dealing with human errors. But my question is – How can one be so sure that technology would be flawless?

With those thoughts, I will leave you to enjoy the weekend. Just remember , don’t spend too much time on screen and encourage more human interaction.


I am liberated!

I missed you all as much as you missed my posts. The reason I couldn’t post all these weeks was that my parents were in town. And when they are around, I am a different person. From wife and mother, I suddenly turn into a daughter. An obedient one! Other than parents, work, and daughters kept me busy. But midst all of this, I enjoyed last few weeks thoroughly.

Google Image : Liberation

Today’s post is about a realisation I had of late. During the last few weeks, I realized that I am liberated from the burden of keeping certain people happy. Whether they are neighbors, relatives, close family members or ex-colleagues. All these years, I was trying to fit in somewhere. Moving within the country and then moving out of the country, gave me an opportunity to mingle with people of other states and non-Indians. But it also influenced my perception of people back at home state.

When I moved to Delhi for study and work that’s the first time when I faced something called “discrimination”. The worse was that I didn’t even know it was discrimination. My college mates and later my colleagues ridiculed about my home state and I kept mum most of the times. It was as if I was giving them a silent approval of what they were saying. I kept quiet, partly because of the lack of knowledge I had about my state. I failed to let people know that Budha had chosen the land (Gaya) in my state to enlighten humankind. I didn’t let people know that Bihari food is one of the tastiest food we have in our country And I failed to let people know that unlike other developed states, girls are treated much better in Bihar, Jharkhand, Bengal, and Orissa. When a daughter is born in Bihar, she is not looked at, as a burden or disgrace to the family. At least not in the middle class. I am so proud of the family and state I was born in. Because I was treated with love and care. And was given all possible opportunities to realize my potential. Most of my batchmates from school are doing extremely well wherever they are and they may vouch for my growing up experience. Like mentioned before, the first time, I felt discrimination against women was when I moved to Delhi. But by then, my foundations were already strong and I was not ready to budge.

I lived in Delhi for 7 years and it brought me the sophistication required to climb up the ladder in a civilized society. I learnt that you can’t be upfront to people. You have to sugarcoat it before it comes out of the mouth. Money is everything. Think of money first and then about people. Lies are part of the day-to-day. You can’t get ahead without cheating other people. You have to push other people down in order to get ahead. I am not saying that people in my hometown state are saints. Probably some of the biggest scams have happened in my state but the qualities that I stated above were not part of my growing up years. People in my neighborhood helped each other, girls were safe, people were happy. I never felt the dissatisfaction of not having enough. Having said all of that, the polish that I got in Delhi helped me grow further. I met people from all walks of life. Delhi rile you in a way that it prepares you for any other challenges in the world. Still, Delhi is like second home and my first love.

I moved to a different country to study and work. I enjoy my life in Singapore. It’s safe place, embrace foreigners, people are awesome and Singapore laws keep you in check. All great. But then you meet with your countrymen in a foreign land. Before mingling and supporting each other, they have to ensure you are from their regions. Are you from North India or South? Are you Hindi speaking or not? What was your parents’ profession? How did you get here etc etc.? the questions never end unless they know your entire Kundli (Horoscope). If I have met you for the first time, I don’t need to know your economic and social status. I am not looking to build long term relationships.

Things haven’t changed for me in last ten years. When I meet with Indians, I still get same questions. And I wonder why, why do we ask such questions?!

I don’t care anymore. I feel liberated of the burden of somebody else. I can be myself and be proud of my achievements. I can use this position to help downtrodden. It doesn’t bother me what people think of me. If I have managed to make true friends in all these years, they will accept me as I am. I don’t need to change for anyone, to be with anyone. I don’t need to explain to anyone. Because people who care for you, don’t need explanations, and those who need explanation are not worth it.

So, thank you all, I am liberated!

Happy Mother’s Day!!

Mother's Day
Google’s Image : Happy Mother’s Day

It’s been fantastic to celebrate Mother’s day every year. Especially when you are a mother and the family treats you special (at least) for a day. This day is special to all mothers. Though, I don’t remember celebrating it as a child. Such things didn’t exist back then. What was so great about being a mother?! Everyone had a mother and they all did the same stuff? There were hardly enough reasons to celebrate. To be honest, it feels bit awkward to wish my mother on this day. It wasn’t a thing while I was growing up. I wonder why Hindutva group didn’t make a fuss about “mother’s day”, like how they do for “Valentine’s day”? Anyways,  that’s a different convo altogether.

I did wish her. She shyly replied, “Thank You”. Her words left me teary. I wanted to say much more and thank her for the wonderful life, I am living. Thank both parents for all the efforts they put in to give us a better life. Remembering it all in one day is not enough. One has to be ‘grateful’ every single day. Somebody has rightly said, “Mother is the messenger of god because he can’t be everywhere”.

Let’s talk about remembering it. On the day itself, people post wonderful messages on Social Media about how much they appreciate their mothers. But should we really restrict ourselves to posting messages just on one day? Instead, should we not call them every day to check on them (if you are staying away from your parents)? One call won’t cost much but it may be the world to your parents who remember and worry about you every single day.

Coming back to my being a ‘mother’. My kids are still young to understand this day. It took me 30 years and 2 kids to understand what a mother means? Earlier she was just a mother. But now every time my kids throw tantrums, don’t eat, cry endlessly and do everything that I don’t like them to do, I remember her (my mother) and recall every nasty thing I did to her. I was not an easy child for sure. Your child is a reflection of you. Trust me it’s like nature’s cycle of karma. If I could change one thing in past then that would be, being grateful to my mother for everything she did. She had a career on top of taking care of us. I had an amazing childhood even though my parents had to go through immense struggles and I saw them conquering each one of them. They were much stronger than I am today. Hats off to them really!

Being a new mother, you tend to be excited about ‘Mother’s day’. I ended up sending Mother’s day message to all my friends who are wonderful mothers. I wanted to take this opportunity to connect with people who I have not been in touch with for numbers of reasons. It’s a terrific way to check on each other. Everyone is busy in their lives. Though we are always connected through technology, I feel we are more disconnected now. The worse is that people have time to send forwarded messages on WhatsApp but their fingers pain to type a personalized message. How could you reply a personal message with a forwarded one?! Someone is taking an effort to write to you, at least have that respect and respond to them wholeheartedly. Just because you can, you shouldn’t reply immediately. Take your time to think through and then respond. I guess many people are missing handheld etiquettes. Probably we are unable to catch up with the advancement of technology and produce enough handheld literates. So, next time if someone is messaging you, please take note of following things:

1) Read but don’t reply immediately

2) Think through and then reply when you have time.

3) If the message is urgent and you can’t pick up, let them know briefly you will get back.

4) Don’t reply forwarded message to a personal one.

5) Don’t intrude into someone’s space by sending too many forwarded messages.

6) And please for god sake’s, if someone wishes you, please don’t just end at “same to you”

There may be another side to this, which I can’t see so help me see that by commenting below. Happy to hear your thoughts.

Don’t try to fit in!

Guys, I have to apologize for being away for so long. I joined back my full -time job. It is taking a bit of time to settle down. Even though I was not writing, words were murmuring into my ears. I was very tempted to go back to writing. Without getting into the further details of the reasons for being away, let’s dive into today’s topic.

Dont fit in.PNG

We moved into the new house earlier this year and now I moved into a new job. Over the years, there were several changes in our life. Because of those changes, I strongly feel about this topic. Never try to fit in. Whether it’s personal or professional life, don’t compromise. Really! If you feel that the universe is not in tandem with your deep inner- feelings then you know something is not right. Instead of suppressing those feelings, take action! Think how and what can you change to bring back that positive momentum.

Last few months, I have been talking to many companies. And while you are talking to interviewers, it is not difficult to guesstimate whether you like the people and culture. Even if you had the best of the interviews, even if the role is closer to your dream role and even if you are getting a dream package, at the end of the day what matters is happiness and contentment. Your office impacts your everyday life. Office colleagues are part of daily routine. So, if you force yourself then you may be fundamentally misaligned for a long time. For some, it leaves a lasting impact and changes them as a person. The first three months is the best time to understand this. At the end of the work day, you should feel happy and hopeful. And if you are not, trust me, take a plunge, find something you love. I can guarantee that people have survived even after quitting their dream company.

Similarly, in personal life, you meet endless people every day. With some, you connect, with some you don’t. And there may be chances that you are not connecting with 80% of the people and that is ‘absolutely’ fine. Most of the people don’t care about you, they care about themselves. So, in case you are successful in life or doing well, there are high chances that people will despise you. You may be surrounded by sycophants who don’t truly appreciates your success. Just hanging around for their own selfish motives. If ever you feel in life that people are just against you or you put off a lot of people, you should take it positively. People are jealous and can’t stand your success. That should be a success milestone. Successful people are generally lonely. They should make a little extra effort to go out and make friends. But make sure you don’t force yourself. That will only lower down self-esteem and that is not good for your emotional health.

I will get back to you with more topics like this soon. If you like this point, don’t forget to like, share and comment.